


My Eyes Adored You

by Danny_Gaye



Category: Pundit & Broadcast Journalist RPF (US), Real News RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, CNN, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Fox News, LMAO, M/M, Slow Burn, again idk what im doing bc i have no knowledge on these people, also tucker carlson is trans bc i know thatll piss him off, also uh, and i made a spotify playlist for it, anyway i wrote this at 1am, anyway idk what to title this so its a frankie valli song, anyway im sorry ill get back to joke political rpf soon, bc we all know those suck, but i figured hey thisll be funny, but i have a passion for hating fox news and everyone associated with it so here we go, enemies to lovers??, eventually, i dont think ive ever watched high school musical or 13 reasons why either lmao, i hope you realize i have no idea what im doing bc i dont watch news channels, i just wanted to make fun of news hosts i hate and also high school dramas, ill think of something, im sorry, like ive never seen riverdale but good god i already hate it, oohhh a trans person from pennsylvania made you trans and kiss sean hannity oooohh suck my dick, other news channels idk, slow burn??, which was me at 1am scrolling through my liked songs and adding whatever i thought was fitting, yeah sure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 06:09:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30017328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danny_Gaye/pseuds/Danny_Gaye
Summary: Tucker Carlson is new to Fair & Balanced High School, but he’s quickly picked up by the notorious school jock, Sean Hannity. Being the total dick that he is, he bullies Tucker until he realizes he’s his after school tutor. Slowly developing more of a liking towards each other, they catch feelings and become a couple. But oh no! Their rivalry with Facts First High School gets in the way when some school v. school competition pops up, and Sean has to compete in order to defend some honor or whatever. Apparently, like a total jackass, Sean made a bet with Chris Cuomo, and Tucker was the prize?? Will Tucker be literally fucking won like a stuffed animal at a carnival game, or will he stay with his jackass boyfriend??
Relationships: Sean Hannity/Tucker Carlson





	My Eyes Adored You

**Author's Note:**

> Hey look its me again. Out of all the things I could conceive I conceive this: a multiple chapter joke fic that I'll probably lose interest in. Anyway I have a bunch of ideas for joke political rpf written somewhere but I have to do this or my brain will taunt me with it when I desperately try to sleep at 1am because I've been a bad boy or something. I bet you can tell I wrote this at 1am while my laptop was at 20% and my eyes were all crunchy from a desperate need to pass out but I wasn't able to fall asleep. Like after I finished this I went on twitter for a while, attempted to sleep, tossed around for an hour, and had the grossest dream ever. This fic ruined my life and its only chapter 1. Put me out of my misery. Inject me with drugs like I'm a circus bear and let me stop thinking. Also fuck you Tucker Carlson I hope you're reading this you lame little man.

(Modern High School setting, but without the coronavirus)

Tucker anxiously bounced his leg as he clutched his book bag, staring out the window with wide, deer-in-the-headlights eyes. He and his family had just moved cities thanks to his father getting a promotion at work that required him to leave his hometown with his wife and kids, which meant a new school and no friends. Tucker and his brother were upset at the news, but they were reassured that they would get the hang of things and make new friends in no time. His father also told him privately that this was a chance to start over and be seen for who he really was: Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson, a boy through and through. As a trans man who came out during middle school, he was still seen for who he was before by certain students, and it often led to scrutiny by peers who just didn’t want to understand.

Upon hearing this, Tucker favored moving schools more, happy to have a fresh start and be seen for who he is, not who he was. When the first day of school came, however, he completely flipped. While on the verge of a full blown panic attack, his step-mother took notice and asked, “Oh, Tucker, are you worried about going to a new school?” With a nod and a harsh swallow, the boy shakily fixed his hair as he attempted to calm down, fighting the urge to grab his skin and pull it clean off the bone. “You won’t be the new kid for long, Tuck. You’ll get used to everything, and I bet you’ll make a lot of good friends here too! Those bad high school dramas aren’t real, you know.” She reassured, making a right turn as she neared her step-son’s new school. 

Tucker took a deep breath, doing his best to settle his nerves as they pulled into the parking lot of the school. “I’ll be here when school ends, have a good day.” His step-mother smiled, pulling him into an awkward side hug as he unbuckled his seatbelt. “Thanks, Pat. I’ll see ya.” He replied, stepping out of the car and slinging his book bag over his shoulder as he made his way towards his new school. He had a minor understanding about where things were - as he received a brief orientation with his father when they were finalizing records and putting him on rosters - so he knew which door led to the main office. As he briskly walked up to the doors, he glanced up to read the school’s name, which were in large, white letters: Fair & Balanced High School. 

Pushing the door open, he fixed his hair once more as he navigated the office, finding it shortly and entering right away. The secretary glanced up at him, asking, “What do you need, young man?” A sudden rush of gender euphoria coursed through his body at the title he was given, just about to offer the biggest smile in the world before he composed himself and replied, “I just wanted to pick up my schedule, I’m new here.” “Name?” The older woman asked, promptly being met with a confident, “Tucker Carlson, ma’am.” Typing the given name into the system, she gave a little nod as she mentioned, “I have it right here, Mr. Carlson, just give me a moment to print it out.” 

Tucker offered a little “okay” as he waited, listening to the printer as his schedule was being developed. His mind wandered a bit, trying to dig up what he remembered from the orientation so he could figure out where everything was. He hoped he would be given a little bit of grace when it came to being on time, since he was, you know, walking in almost completely blind. Hearing the printer halt, he watched the woman grab the paper and hand it to him, informing him room and floor numbers were provided on the sheet and to report to his homeroom first. “Thank you, have a nice day.” Tucker smiled, taking the paper and walking out as he read his schedule. 

“Homeroom… Room 228. Man, where the hell is that?” He muttered to himself, ruffling his hair as he trudged up the staircase, hoping to find it at some point. Pushing the door to the hallway open, he began to wander aimlessly while skimming room numbers, furrowing his brows when he read numbers like 242 and 250. Cursing under his breath, he continued to speed walk until his search finally came up successful. Entering his new homeroom, eyes immediately fell on him as people began to wonder who the hell this kid was. Tucker knew his face was red as his new classmates eyed him, heating up quicker than a slightly overworked macbook. 

Turning towards the teacher - who was a much older man - he lumbered up to his desk and shakily uttered, “H-Hey, I’m Tucker Carlson, the new kid in your class.” The man looked up at him and grinned, greeting him with, “Well, hello there, Tucker! I’m Mr. O’Reilly! How are you this morning?” The boy stated he was fine, looking at the desks around him and asking where he should sit. “Hm… that desk over there, second to the left. You should put your belongings in your locker first, though.” Mr. O’Reilly informed, having Tucker glance at his schedule to look for his locker number and combination. He exited the classroom to find his locker, which was directly outside the door: something Tucker appreciated quite a bit for some weird reason, maybe for the sake of convenience.

Turning the knob to enter his combination, he glanced back at his schedule to see where his first class was. “Ew, English class. I’d rather die.” Tucker huffed while he pulled his locker door open, shoving his bookbag in and leaving out a few folders and a notebook for his classes. Before he could close the door, someone grabbed the top of it, startling the boy briefly. Looking up, he made eye contact with a clearly much older, stronger, and meaner student. To make things even worse and more stereotypical, he wore a letterman jacket, so good God he was going to be a handful. 

Swallowing his saliva, Tucker spoke first, “Hey, you got a problem?” He immediately regretted his choice of words as the other boy furrowed his brows, scowling so hard it resembled a dog baring its teeth. “I got one now, you nerd!” He snarled, but glancing away for a bit to chuckle, thinking his insult was the best one made since the inventor of bullying hurled their first taunt, or something. He took his hand away from the locker door and grabbed Tucker by his shirt to shove him into his locker, getting frustrated when the boy didn’t fit. “Wh- this isn’t what happened in the movies!” He shouted, beginning to get violent as he grabbed the younger boy with his other hand and desperately tried to stuff him into his locker. Tucker began to get whiplash from the harsh shoving and shaking, his vision beginning to blur as he got nauseous.

He didn’t seem to notice that his homeroom peers gathered around the two, feasting their eyes on the sad attempt at physical violence in front of them. “Go, Sean! Kill the new kid! Woo!” One student shouted, cheering the boy on. “Steve goddamn Doocy, if you don’t shut the FUCK up, I will PLOW you!” The older student, apparently named Sean, shouted, finally ceasing to shake Tucker, who giggled at his phrasing. Sean’s eyes widened as craze swirled around in them, abruptly taking the younger student by the shoulders and crying out, “Sh-Shut up, you dork! I’ll kill you!” Before processing anything, Tucker found himself on the floor, staring up at his peers with confusion.

Sean just fucking bodyslammed him. Furrowing his brows, he sat up and placed his hand on the back of his head as he looked up at Sean. Before any words could be exchanged, Mr. O’Reilly made his way through the crowd of students and dragged Sean away. “Mr. Hannity! Why won’t you behave, you stupid bitch!” The teacher shouted while Tucker got to his feet, picking up his belongings and closing his locker. Sean Hannity… what a stupid name. He will remember that name.

As students began retreating to their homeroom, one walked up to Tucker with a bit of a nervous smile. “Hey- don’t worry about Hannity, he’s just compensating for like- his dick, I guess.” He chuckled, earning a smile from the new student. “Heh, yeah. I don’t think guys named Sean pack much heat.” He smiled, making the unknown student laugh. “You’re pretty funny, I’m Bret. Bret Baier.” He grinned, holding out his hand politely. “Tucker Carlson.” They shook hands like it was a business deal that they knew was a mistake, but one they were confident in.

“I know you’re new here, so I can show you around, if you want.” Bret offered, which was met with Tucker accepting with enthusiasm. “Cool. Epic. Lemme see that.” He took his new friend’s schedule and looked over it, smiling and saying, “We have the same schedule!” Tucker let out a relieved sigh, finally realizing that maybe this new school wouldn’t suck that bad. All he had to look out for was Hannity. That damn meathead.


End file.
